Sarah's death was totally unexpected. She died on Monday, September 13, 2004 and was buried on the 15th. The number of people who came to her funeral touched us. You have no idea how the death of a child affects so many. There were about 500 people there to share in our loss. Since then, we have talked to many about what happened that day, but not everyone. It is a story worth telling. I expect that what happened that day will scare parents but at the same time give comfort to her friends. Sarah was full of life to the end of her life. To that I am thankful. Sarah also felt little pain in her death. The very little comfort I find in what happened, I do find in that fact.
The reason that Sarah's story should give comfort to her friends is that
she didn't suffer at all. Yes, she was scared, but who wouldn't be with
a team of doctors and nurses working on you? Sarah felt very little pain
in her death. She never knew what was happening.
This story should frighten parents because Sarah was an average kid. She
had no self-harming habits. Although she was very interested in boys,
she hadn't started dating. She drove speed limits. She was happy to go
to bed at 9:00. She hated cigarette smoke and anything having to do with
drinking or drugs. If anything, she was more risk averse than the average
teen. In other words, from what we know, what happened to Sarah could
have happened to anyone.
Sarah's mild flulike symptoms started only 15 hours before she died. She
wanted to go to school at 6 am, but died by 1 pm. Until 10:15, when I
called the ambulance, she showed FEWER symptoms than when her sister had
the flu the previous year. If her story gives you nothing else, hug your
kids after you read it and tell them how much you love them. Sarah knew
how much we loved her. And we knew how she loved us. I am grateful for
the relationship we had. What I didn't know before I lost her, was what
a terrible void she would leave. Just imagine if you were never to see
your daughter or son again, could never talk to them, never hug them or
share in life's achievements. Imagine instead burying them with all their
dreams and writing their headstone..
With that......
September 13th was a Monday. That Sunday was filled for Sarah. She started
it off in the art room at Sunday school. She was excited about helping
Becky, the art teacher, and came home with fabric strips she called new
belts! Sarah was definitely her own person; the only one I know who would
wear fabric strips as belts!! She worked happily in the art room, because
she did not want to be in a classroom. She and little kids didn't really
get along. She was not a great babysitter. Although she did do a bit of
sitting, it was always as part of a team. When she babysat with her sister,
Sarah became the supervisor and Anna did all the work. Anyway, long story
short why she was working with a teacher and not kids.
After Sunday school, she came home and did laundry, not a normal Sunday
for Sarah, but we had probably nagged hard enough for her to actually
get it done!
The high school Sunday school class met in the late afternoon, at a coffee
shop in Bexley. She didn't want to go, but I had talked her into trying
ONE class. And anyway, it was in a coffee shop, she could get a drink.
( For those who didn't know, Sarah was a Starbuck's addict) and the promise
of a drink, paid for by mom, was just enough of a bribe. As it turned
out she loved the class and told me that she would like to continue going
to it. I was thrilled. As parents we all choose our battles; going to
Sunday school was not going to be mine. So I was thrilled that she liked
it and wanted to keep going.
On our way home, we stopped for subs at a local shop. At first, I think
Sarah felt some disloyalty in going there, as she worked for a competitor,
but we talked about the merits of checking out the competition. It was
not the cleanest restaurant at the time. The kids running it looked like
they were hoping to get out early and were in the middle of cleaning.
When we went in, so did a half dozen other customers.
Sarah ordered a sub. At the time, she noted that they didn't refrigerate
all of the ingredients, like they did at Danny's Subs, where she worked.
It was that fact that convinced us that Sarah had food poisoning. Sarah
ate an entire half sub. This was very unusual for her. IF she ate a quarter
that was a lot. This was an entire half. After dinner she went upstairs
to putter around her room and get things ready for school on Monday.
It was about 9:00 when Sarah started feeling ill. She had an upset stomach
and vomited her dinner. She was in good spirits, though. It seemed totally
gastro-intestinal. There was no change in her disposition or her energy
level. This is why we thought it was food poisoning. I looked up e.coli
and salmonella on the web, but it didn't seem to totally make sense.
Her left arm ached and she complained of a headache. I took her temperature,
and within 30 minutes it went from normal to 103. When Sarah was younger,
her temp went to 105 once; although 103 was high, it was not alarming.
What was alarming was how fast it went up. I called the doctor, once Sarah
was in a bathtub, to bring her temperature down and he asked all the pertinent
questions including was her neck stiff. No to all. The bath and Motrin
seemed to take care of her temp. Sarah was thirsty and felt up enough
to make herself some hot tea. So she did.
She drank the tea and went to bed. Nothing more than flu like symptoms,
and mild ones at that.
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